Steps to Take in Preparing for a Divorce
The worst imaginable scenario is setting in as a new reality: your “I Do” has somehow turned into “I Don’t.” This is a reality that was not a part of your life plan or the life you had envisioned for yourself when you walked down the aisle but now it seems that a Divorce is inevitable and you find yourself asking the question: How do I actually prepare for this huge life change?
Below, I have listed some of my best pre-divorce steps; with this guide you will know what expect so that as each new phase becomes a reality you can face the challenges it will bring. It doesn’t mean the process will be easier but with this I hope you have some extra tools in your belt to assist you in coming out on the other side.
You are Going to Need Money
The waters are muddy and things have suddenly become unclear and it feels like the first step is to file the petition with the court; however, the worst could happen: Do you have access to cash? Not only will you need to pay your attorney, court costs but you will also need the ability to continue paying monthly expenses in addition to possibly looking for new housing. Your number one priority will be to make sure you still have access to cash.
What about Health Insurance?
In some cases, if you are self-employed or have dedicated yourself to raising children, healthcare becomes a major concern if a divorce becomes evident. If you are reliant on your spouse’s health insurance to cover medical expenses, this is an important consideration before filing a petition.
Typically, a divorce is considered a qualifying event for most insurance carriers to allow you to apply for coverage during a time other than open enrollment. If you have health insurance offered through your employer, your first step will be to gather information on the plans available to you and how they compare to existing coverage such as the deductible, co-pay doctors covered on the plan, etc.
If you do not have access to health insurance through your own employer you will need to investigate COBRA coverage and individual coverage. Find a health insurance professional to consult.
Find a Counselor/Therapist
Going through a divorce can be a rollercoaster for both you and your family, especially if you have children. For your emotional well being and for some help sorting through the myriad of emotions that will pop up at any time and counselor/therapist will be able to offer some guidance.
Choose a Divorce Attorney
Just as a therapist or counselor can help you navigate the emotions experienced during a divorce, an attorney will help you navigate the state laws and help in the negotiates of the settlement. Since not every woman’s situation is the same, there is not a cookie cutter plan as each divorce differs from couple to couple. Your divorce attorney can help you determine the full scope of your marital estate, sort through the assets, and develop your settlement strategy before you pull the trigger. Your attorney can also walk you through different settlement approaches, including mediation and collaborative divorce.
Revive your Resume
If your spouse’s income enabled you to stay at home or you chose to stay home so you could raise your children, then in some situations a divorce may mean you will need to find a job to help supplement the divorce settlement. While you can certainly ask for both child support and spousal support (also known as alimony), it may not be enough to cover your standard of living. As you prepare for divorce, update your resume and begin networking. Make it a priority to be proactive and not reactive.
Prepare for the Financial Reality of Divorce
The truth about divorce is that more often than not there is a loss in the standard of living following a divorce; therefore, as you begin considering divorce, it is time to prepare for your new financial reality. Again, the key is to be proactive and not reactive.
By being proactive, you will need to begin creating a post divorce budget. This budget will also assist you in your divorce negotiations. Your new budget should be as detailed and specific as possible because it will provide you with a realistic view or your expenses and the cash flow needed to cover these expenses.
Meeting with your financial advisor can be the best first step as they can help you dig into the weeds of your expenses and discuss your financial foundation to ensure you are taking the right steps forward. If you do not have a financial advisor then you should start the process of interviewing and finding one whom you trust to help you navigate the financial components of preparing for a divorce and getting your feet back on the ground post divorce.
I hope you have found some reassurance in knowing you are not alone, and I can help. If you have any questions, call me, 615-369-1611!
Let’s talk soon!
Maleah
